Oh look! Something completly void of the death of Michael Jackson!

"And to keep me from being too elated by the abundance of revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being too elated.
Three times I besought the Lord about this, that it should leave me;
but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12: 7-10

This is the second reading for mass next week, when I saw this my initial reaction was to be excited, it has got to be one of my favorite passages, I’m anticipating to go to Church next weekend and hear what my pastor has to say…and I think that makes me an idiot. Paul’s talking about his struggles and deficiencies referring to them as “a messenger of Satan”. I don’t know what this thorn in the flesh was, but it must have been a little more serious than meat on Friday. Paul brings this to the God, a God who wiped away his murderous past and created in him one of the greatest evangelists the Church has known, a God who sucked out Paul’s weakness and made him strong. You would think a humble request such as this would have been tended to post haste. This is not the case. He asks God once, then again, and again. Yet God says no.

Even Paul has rubbish that interferes with the flow of God’s grace. Even Paul, with all of his insight, still needs a Savior. In reaction to Paul’s third request God gives him an answer “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”. This is point where I’m stuck, it’s as far as I go. I’m weak, I know I need God’s grace, yet I keep complaining and complaining. My liking of this passage is nothing more than my delusion towards it. In reality I hate the idea of weakness, I try my best to be emotionally sober and have life appropriately prioritized! Has it worked out for me at all? Nope! Yet I’m perpetually in this cycle, however with Paul, it only took 3 tries to understand that it doesn’t work. I’ve heard it said that insanity is reproducing the same action expecting a different outcome. So now I’m not just an idiot, I’m also down right batty. Isn’t that what life without God is, to be divorced from truth and love?

I’m going to substitute my so called “approval” of this passage with a proper reverence of it. To me this is an essential element of what Christianity is and to be overjoyed with it would suggest my deep misunderstanding of it. So I guess I have the opportunity to go Church next Sunday with more of an open heart, free from being too elated, not so impressed with myself. Hopefully I’ll start to get it.